Inspired by the image of a coffee mug floating around the social media googlenets, there is great hope (and exciting plans) to make a recording and eventual music video for this little ditty. With both great thanks and apologies to Sir Mix-a-Lot, I bring you
Baby Got Books
Oh my god, Becky, look at her book, it is so big.
She looks like one of those smart guys’ girlfriends.
But you know, who understands those smart guys?
They only talk to her because she looks like a total erudite, ‘kay?
I mean that book is just so big, I can’t believe it’s leather-bound,
it’s like collectable, I mean, gross. Look, she’s just so smart…
I like big books and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a bound thing in your face
You get dumb, then I pull up tough
‘Cause I noticed that book was stuffed
Deep with the knowledge I’m seekin’,
I’m hooked and I can’t stop readin’.
Oh baby, I wanna get wit cha, and see a lecture!
My colleagues tried to warn me,
but that book you got makes me so horny!
Ooo, soft- or hard-back, you say you wanna meet in the stacks?
Well choose me, peruse me, ’cause you ain’t that average groupie.
I’ve seen them readin’, to hell with Netflix streamin’
She’s smart, off-chart, got it going in HeadStart.
I’m tired of magazines sayin’ dumb girls are the thing
Take the average scholar and ask him that,
She’s gotta read the stacks!
So fellahs? Yeah! X2
Has your girlfriend got a book? Hell yeah!
Tell her to read it! Read it! X2
Baby got books — “Librarian face with half-price hard-back”
Baby got books! etc
I like ’em bound and thick, and when you read an epic
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal,
Now here’s my scandal:
I want get you home and huh
read out loud huh huh
I’m not talkin’ ’bout Playboy, ’cause literary novels bring the joy
I want ’em real thick and juicy
So read that juicy novel, Reads-a-lot’s in trouble
Beggin’ for a piece of that novel
So I’m lookin’ at youtube videos, lame-brained bimbos, empty heads like O’s
You can have them bimbos, my women will read Calvino.
A word to the thick book readers I wanna get wit cha
I won’t cuss or hit ya
but I gotta be straight when I say I wanna read
Til the break of dawn, this book’s got it going on.
A lot of simps won’t like this song
‘Cause them punks like to skim it and Cliff it
And I’d rather stay and read
‘Cause it’s long and I’m strong and I’m down to get my fiction on
So ladies yeah X2
You wanna read some Bukowski? Yeah!
then turn around, pull it out
Even dumb boys got to shout “BABY GOT BOOKS!”
Yeah, when it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. Novels, plays, poetry? Haha, yeah, especially from the library.
Baby got books…
So your girlfriend holds a Samsung
Playin’ bootleg tracks from Hanson
But Hanson ain’t got a Kindle in the mix on their Samsung
My smart phone apps don’t want none unless you got books hun!
You can watch TV or Netflix, but please don’t lose those books
Some morons wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the book can go,
so they toss it, and leave it, and I pull up quick to reread it!
So the TV you got is flat, but I ain’t down with that
‘Cause the font is small and the plot gets thickened
And I’m thinkin’ bout readin;
To the eyecandy things flippin through magazines,
You ain’t it miss thing.
Gimme a scholar make me hollah,
Tolstoy and Shakespeare she found ballah!
Some knucklehead tried to diss ’cause his girls read my booklist
He had books but he chose to skim ’em, so I pull up quick to read with ’em
So ladies if the book is bound, and you want a literary throw-down
Dial 1-900-Reads-a-lot and kick them bookish thoughts
Baby got books
“Classics on the Kindle and she got much books” X3
3 thoughts on “The Parody’s the thing, wherein I’ll employ humor to make them sing!”
This is awesome! I LOVE it!
Thank you thank you!
This is hilarious! Erudite! That’s what I want in a guy!