Inspired by the image of a coffee mug floating around the social media googlenets, there is great hope (and exciting plans) to make a recording and eventual music video for this little ditty. With both great thanks and apologies to Sir Mix-a-Lot, I bring you

Baby Got Books

Oh my god, Becky, look at her book, it is so big.

She looks like one of those smart guys’ girlfriends.

But you know, who understands those smart guys?

They only talk to her because she looks like a total erudite, ‘kay?

I mean that book is just so big, I can’t believe it’s leather-bound,

it’s like collectable, I mean, gross. Look, she’s just so smart…

I like big books and I cannot lie

You other brothers can’t deny

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist

And a bound thing in your face

You get dumb, then I pull up tough

‘Cause I noticed that book was stuffed

Deep with the knowledge I’m seekin’,

I’m hooked and I can’t stop readin’.

Oh baby, I wanna get wit cha, and see a lecture!

My colleagues tried to warn me,

but that book you got makes me so horny!

Ooo, soft- or hard-back, you say you wanna meet in the stacks?

Well choose me, peruse me, ’cause you ain’t that average groupie.

I’ve seen them readin’, to hell with Netflix streamin’

She’s smart, off-chart, got it going in HeadStart.

I’m tired of magazines sayin’ dumb girls are the thing

Take the average scholar and ask him that,

She’s gotta read the stacks!

So fellahs? Yeah! X2

Has your girlfriend got a book? Hell yeah!

Tell her to read it! Read it! X2

Baby got books — “Librarian face with half-price hard-back”

Baby got books! etc

I like ’em bound and thick, and when you read an epic

I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal,

Now here’s my scandal:

I want get you home and huh

read out loud huh huh

I’m not talkin’ ’bout Playboy, ’cause literary novels bring the joy

I want ’em real thick and juicy

So read that juicy novel, Reads-a-lot’s in trouble

Beggin’ for a piece of that novel

So I’m lookin’ at youtube videos, lame-brained bimbos, empty heads like O’s

You can have them bimbos, my women will read Calvino.

A word to the thick book readers I wanna get wit cha

I won’t cuss or hit ya

but I gotta be straight when I say I wanna read

Til the break of dawn, this book’s got it going on.

A lot of simps won’t like this song

‘Cause them punks like to skim it and Cliff it

And I’d rather stay and read

‘Cause it’s long and I’m strong and I’m down to get my fiction on

So ladies yeah X2

You wanna read some Bukowski? Yeah!

then turn around, pull it out

Even dumb boys got to shout “BABY GOT BOOKS!”

Yeah, when it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. Novels, plays, poetry? Haha, yeah, especially from the library.

Baby got books…

So your girlfriend holds a Samsung

Playin’ bootleg tracks from Hanson

But Hanson ain’t got a Kindle in the mix on their Samsung

My smart phone apps don’t want none unless you got books hun!

You can watch TV or Netflix, but please don’t lose those books

Some morons wanna play that hard role

And tell you that the book can go,

so they toss it, and leave it, and I pull up quick to reread it!

So the TV you got is flat, but I ain’t down with that

‘Cause the font is small and the plot gets thickened

And I’m thinkin’ bout readin;

To the eyecandy things flippin through magazines,

You ain’t it miss thing.

Gimme a scholar make me hollah,

Tolstoy and Shakespeare she found ballah!

Some knucklehead tried to diss ’cause his girls read my booklist

He had books but he chose to skim ’em, so I pull up quick to read with ’em

So ladies if the book is bound, and you want a literary throw-down

Dial 1-900-Reads-a-lot and kick them bookish thoughts

Baby got books

“Classics on the Kindle and she got much books” X3

3 thoughts on “The Parody’s the thing, wherein I’ll employ humor to make them sing!

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